Notice the Cracks

First we had Hurricane Sandy that rocked the East Coast, pummeling it and taking out electricity for days in certain parts of the coast.
Then a few days ago, we had a shooting at an Elementary school called Sandy Hook in Connecticut where over 27 people died including students, teachers, and the principal.
What's next?
I shouldn't even ask.
This year has been rough not just for the United States but for other parts of the world as well.
Afghanistan, Pakistan, and surrounding countries have citizens that can barely walk out there doors in certain parts without the possibility of being killed.
A young girl had been outspoken in her country and she ended up being shot at for speaking against certain politics.
Why do these awful things happen?
It is when these horrific events happen that people ask themselves if they believe in God.
I know I do.
I know that God is not here to make our lives perfect. God is not here to live our lives for us. We are the ones leading our lives. We are the ones making choices.
Not God.
He is the one that gave us life.
He is the one that gave us our existence to become something  and to do something in this world.
God can't always stop those events from happening.
He wants us to see that we need to stop arguing and work together to become a better place. He wants us to build from these events to become stronger and more unified community. But our world is far from this possibility yet God keeps trying. Perhaps someday we will all realize our mistakes and come together.
God is not the one we go to solve our problems.
He is here to help us but He is also here to teach us.
Trust God.
I don't know His plan and neither do you.
What I do believe though, is that he wants to help us by showing us the way.
The problem is, we don't always stay on this path.
Pray for the victims of the elementary shooting, pray for the victims of the hurricane, pray for the people around the world suffering from hunger problems to those stuck in terrible situations to those who just deserve a prayer but never get it for their miniscule problems because the world is too focused on the big picture to notice the cracks that are breaking it apart.

Oh the Places You Could Go!

 

Where to be? Where to go?
I just don't know.
I am ready to leave my school for winter break and escape the daily pain of feeling like a loser and not fitting in. I am ready to get out of this hole that while some days makes me feel welcome and loved, there are still a higher amount of days that make me want to cry and escape.
My only option is to go home. And yes, I love my home and my family but they also cause me stress and problems. I can only handle them for a certain extent of time until I need to leave. But I will have a whole month with them before I head home. Everything is best held in moderation and a month with my family will get to feel almost too long.
I wish I could go off with my best friend and be IW's but she has found the "love of her life", where she has felt nothing ever like this feeling this guy before....which I am glad for her, I am honestly so excited. I'm just nervous for when the time comes, if it does, that they end it and she comes to me telling me she never gets guys.
Which is so nice to hear as a single person. Lawls...you know how it is.
I wish I could go off on a whirlwind adventure over break and explore the Rocky Mountains, explore New York City and do all the touristy things, climb Mount Everest, skydive, visit historical places in European countries, go to a World Cup soccer match, go scuba diving in the Mediterranean, go taste new foods and explore cultures on every continent.

Nonetheless, these are just dreams. Dreams that could be possible to an extent one day but currently...they are a no-go.
What would make these dreams worthwhile and amazing, and worth the time and money spent on going to do them, is to have a loved one with you.
I know that there are good guys out there-it just takes time to find them.
And like my new friend Jung said in a speech the other day, he prayed and prayed to God to help him find a girlfriend, but all he needed to do was realize a relationship with God is important as well, and he needs to make sure he has that established before he goes in search for a serious, and loving relationship.

Who is the coolest superhero?!

Who would you chose as the coolest superhero?
 
It could be anyone from DC comics to Marvel and beyond!
My top two superheroes are the classic Batman and Superman.
Batman caught my eye through the old TV show that sometimes still has reruns on TVLand as well as through The Dark Knight movie series (Batman Begins, The Dark Knight, and The Dark Knight Rises).
Personally, I believe the Dark Knight is the best of the three- Christian Bale excels in his roll as the Batman, and the late Health Ledger blew everyone including me with his portrayal of the Joker.
I am always quoting movie lines from this movie.
One of my favorite ones is not necessarily a quote but it's at the part where the Joker has Batman on the side of the building and the Joker is waiting for one of the two boats which has prisoners on one and common people on the other, to blow the other boat up. And then the Joker says, as they wait for the clock to strike midnight for one of the two boats to chose,
"And here we GO!"
I know, it's not a huge line, but for someone reason it has always stuck with me.
These movies have always been amazing, and really hook their audience into the movie, and the Batman has such phenomenal superhero skills. But does he deserve it? He may have the skills, and the tools, but he had to earn those skills and work for them- he was not born with them like other superheroes...


Superman, on the other hand, was born with his super speed and strength. I love how he doesn't want the credit and likes to lead a personal life. I am also glad they have not remade the movies, because I love Marlon Brando's portrayal of Superman. This movie is amazing as well.
I don't have as much to say about Superman because I haven't seen the movie in a long time, but he is on equal footing with Batman because he has true superhero abilities that he was born with.

Overall, I don't know who I would chose..I made a Superman Sweatshirt and I made a Batman shirt.
I guess it doesn't matter necessarily.
Superheroes are cool in general
And if you don't like superheroes, well no offense, but that's just plain weird :)

Slapping Myself Mentally

I've never felt more lost in my life.
 
And I feel like I have no reason to be feeling this way.
Everyone has a story.
A new friend told me today how her dad died three years ago to cancer and some girls on her sports team talked behind her back about it because she had a match on the anniversary of his death and didn't play well.
Another person told me how they don't want to go home because they are tired of their family leaning on them for everything because they are the only going to college and they only one who has their life together.
I am feeling completely lost in this world that has over seven billion people.
And I have tried to move around, I have tried to talk to people, I have tried and tried and tried.
I am realizing right now that it is me who is in the way of everything because I have such a close minded view about the world.
But I don't know how to let go.
I don't know how to let myself be free from myself and just be whoever I am without caring what other people think.
I don't know how not to care.
That is the one class that no school has that needs to be taught.
Teachers try to teach it within their classes but it doesn't work.
I just need someone to slap myself silly or something to get me to realize how stupid I am being an d even as I type this, I feel silly.
I just don't know how to let go and not give a care to the world