Notice the Cracks

First we had Hurricane Sandy that rocked the East Coast, pummeling it and taking out electricity for days in certain parts of the coast.
Then a few days ago, we had a shooting at an Elementary school called Sandy Hook in Connecticut where over 27 people died including students, teachers, and the principal.
What's next?
I shouldn't even ask.
This year has been rough not just for the United States but for other parts of the world as well.
Afghanistan, Pakistan, and surrounding countries have citizens that can barely walk out there doors in certain parts without the possibility of being killed.
A young girl had been outspoken in her country and she ended up being shot at for speaking against certain politics.
Why do these awful things happen?
It is when these horrific events happen that people ask themselves if they believe in God.
I know I do.
I know that God is not here to make our lives perfect. God is not here to live our lives for us. We are the ones leading our lives. We are the ones making choices.
Not God.
He is the one that gave us life.
He is the one that gave us our existence to become something  and to do something in this world.
God can't always stop those events from happening.
He wants us to see that we need to stop arguing and work together to become a better place. He wants us to build from these events to become stronger and more unified community. But our world is far from this possibility yet God keeps trying. Perhaps someday we will all realize our mistakes and come together.
God is not the one we go to solve our problems.
He is here to help us but He is also here to teach us.
Trust God.
I don't know His plan and neither do you.
What I do believe though, is that he wants to help us by showing us the way.
The problem is, we don't always stay on this path.
Pray for the victims of the elementary shooting, pray for the victims of the hurricane, pray for the people around the world suffering from hunger problems to those stuck in terrible situations to those who just deserve a prayer but never get it for their miniscule problems because the world is too focused on the big picture to notice the cracks that are breaking it apart.

Oh the Places You Could Go!

 

Where to be? Where to go?
I just don't know.
I am ready to leave my school for winter break and escape the daily pain of feeling like a loser and not fitting in. I am ready to get out of this hole that while some days makes me feel welcome and loved, there are still a higher amount of days that make me want to cry and escape.
My only option is to go home. And yes, I love my home and my family but they also cause me stress and problems. I can only handle them for a certain extent of time until I need to leave. But I will have a whole month with them before I head home. Everything is best held in moderation and a month with my family will get to feel almost too long.
I wish I could go off with my best friend and be IW's but she has found the "love of her life", where she has felt nothing ever like this feeling this guy before....which I am glad for her, I am honestly so excited. I'm just nervous for when the time comes, if it does, that they end it and she comes to me telling me she never gets guys.
Which is so nice to hear as a single person. Lawls...you know how it is.
I wish I could go off on a whirlwind adventure over break and explore the Rocky Mountains, explore New York City and do all the touristy things, climb Mount Everest, skydive, visit historical places in European countries, go to a World Cup soccer match, go scuba diving in the Mediterranean, go taste new foods and explore cultures on every continent.

Nonetheless, these are just dreams. Dreams that could be possible to an extent one day but currently...they are a no-go.
What would make these dreams worthwhile and amazing, and worth the time and money spent on going to do them, is to have a loved one with you.
I know that there are good guys out there-it just takes time to find them.
And like my new friend Jung said in a speech the other day, he prayed and prayed to God to help him find a girlfriend, but all he needed to do was realize a relationship with God is important as well, and he needs to make sure he has that established before he goes in search for a serious, and loving relationship.

Who is the coolest superhero?!

Who would you chose as the coolest superhero?
 
It could be anyone from DC comics to Marvel and beyond!
My top two superheroes are the classic Batman and Superman.
Batman caught my eye through the old TV show that sometimes still has reruns on TVLand as well as through The Dark Knight movie series (Batman Begins, The Dark Knight, and The Dark Knight Rises).
Personally, I believe the Dark Knight is the best of the three- Christian Bale excels in his roll as the Batman, and the late Health Ledger blew everyone including me with his portrayal of the Joker.
I am always quoting movie lines from this movie.
One of my favorite ones is not necessarily a quote but it's at the part where the Joker has Batman on the side of the building and the Joker is waiting for one of the two boats which has prisoners on one and common people on the other, to blow the other boat up. And then the Joker says, as they wait for the clock to strike midnight for one of the two boats to chose,
"And here we GO!"
I know, it's not a huge line, but for someone reason it has always stuck with me.
These movies have always been amazing, and really hook their audience into the movie, and the Batman has such phenomenal superhero skills. But does he deserve it? He may have the skills, and the tools, but he had to earn those skills and work for them- he was not born with them like other superheroes...


Superman, on the other hand, was born with his super speed and strength. I love how he doesn't want the credit and likes to lead a personal life. I am also glad they have not remade the movies, because I love Marlon Brando's portrayal of Superman. This movie is amazing as well.
I don't have as much to say about Superman because I haven't seen the movie in a long time, but he is on equal footing with Batman because he has true superhero abilities that he was born with.

Overall, I don't know who I would chose..I made a Superman Sweatshirt and I made a Batman shirt.
I guess it doesn't matter necessarily.
Superheroes are cool in general
And if you don't like superheroes, well no offense, but that's just plain weird :)

Slapping Myself Mentally

I've never felt more lost in my life.
 
And I feel like I have no reason to be feeling this way.
Everyone has a story.
A new friend told me today how her dad died three years ago to cancer and some girls on her sports team talked behind her back about it because she had a match on the anniversary of his death and didn't play well.
Another person told me how they don't want to go home because they are tired of their family leaning on them for everything because they are the only going to college and they only one who has their life together.
I am feeling completely lost in this world that has over seven billion people.
And I have tried to move around, I have tried to talk to people, I have tried and tried and tried.
I am realizing right now that it is me who is in the way of everything because I have such a close minded view about the world.
But I don't know how to let go.
I don't know how to let myself be free from myself and just be whoever I am without caring what other people think.
I don't know how not to care.
That is the one class that no school has that needs to be taught.
Teachers try to teach it within their classes but it doesn't work.
I just need someone to slap myself silly or something to get me to realize how stupid I am being an d even as I type this, I feel silly.
I just don't know how to let go and not give a care to the world

America's Society

Our society sucks.
There are no ifs, ands, or buts about it.

 
I hate the word "normal"
Because who gets to define what normal is. Who gets to say a normal family is one that loves each other all equally and supports one another. Who says that there can only be two parents- a man and a woman and three kids? Why are families that have people that don't get along or have two moms or dads or its just a mom and her son?
To define normal:  It is the usual, average, or typical state or condition.
 What defines a beautiful person?
Is it someone who has a face of flawless features that fit perfectly together or is it in the eyes of the beholder?
Is it someone with a thin, toned body if its a woman or a ripped muscular body if its a man?
Why do men call women thick? I realize that someone of you consider this a compliment. But we don't.
All we here is you telling us that we are still fat and that we could try and lose some weight.
But as hard as we try to diet, as hard as we try to work out every day or 5 times a week pushing ourselves to loose those pounds and get toned, it will never be good enough for you.
I have been going to the gym five times at least a week to the gym, pushing my body as hard as I can. I can finally fun a six minute mile which I have not been able to do since 10th grade.
Yet, it just isn't good enough.
I know I'm not skinny. I know I have curves. But I'm not fat. And while I may in your terms be "thick" you better not say that to me again because that's just plain rude!
You may think I'm some crazy psycho chick who is overweight and eating ho-hos  and drinking a two liter gallon of pop as I type this but instead I am eating an apple for my dinner.
I'm eating less because I want to fit it in.
I'm eating less because I want a guy to see me and say dang I want to ask her out right this second.
But no, I'm not gorgeous enough to ever be a face on a magazine or to even be on the list of the world's top 10000000 beautiful people.
All because the world decided that the people who are genetically blessed with the perfect genes deserve to make millions of dollars for doing nothing except being born.
All because the world decided what should be considered normal and what is beautiful.
And I am not accepted into this niche because our "society" is lead by those who are above normal so they can look higher up while they really are just like the rest of us.

Re-re-re-re-re-REREADING

I love rereading books especially when you haven't read them over four months and you forget about the little things that happened in the book.
Like in Harry Potter, I forgot that Dumbledore had seen "socks" in the Mirror of Erised.
I've always been curious about that part in the book...I had never about it much before probably because I never read this book as much as the others ( The Chamber of Secrets and the Order of the Phoenix were my favorite books of the series)

 


If I looked into the mirror, I wonder what I would see...
It's hard to say what I would see because when you look into the Mirror of Erised (I hope I'm spelling it right btw! Sorry if  I'm not!), you see the thing you desire the most....the thing you long for the most in your heart...I don;t even know what I desire the most because I realize some things aren't needed you know?
A hobo would perhaps see a stable lifestyle with a home and job.
A single women who was recently dumped by her boyfriend who she thought was going to propose would probably see that engagement ring.....awko taco...
The Notre Dame football team (all together) would see the championship in their future with multiple NFL offers.

Perhaps what one would see is just the thing that would solve their most current problem that is looming over them and their future...
Me...Well I just want to fit in at my college....
And considering tonight...I'm starting to feel a little bit better.
Then again I just got back and so did everyone else... I'm just going to take it
One day at a time

I am so bad at sticking to a subject hahaha

Where to go and what to do??

What to do what to do??
Life is full of choices and I love that.
But sometimes there are too many choices thus making it too hard to pick the one that's right or all the choices seem too similar...
I am looking at majoring in nursing or dental hygiene.
Which to chose though?
Both work in healthcare and work closely with people. and both have an abundant of job opportunities.

In nursing you get to make a difference in peoples' lives and can save them. There is room for advancement and growth in this career as well. There are many different types of nursing one can go into whether it is psychiatric nursing or geriatric nursing.
In nursing, I can become a nurse anesthesiologist.  I don't know if that is the right career for me but I love the idea of moving up.
Plus I don't have to go to graduate school right away for it. I can go work for a couple years and find out if I want to do it.

In dental hygiene, it will just be a four year program and I am done. I can get a masters and teach but I don't think I want to teach. If I wanted to teach I would become an elementary school teacher which I would love but it does not have a very good job rate especially compared to nursing and dental hygiene.
Dental hyigene would be a good job for me but I am afraid I would get bored too easily. I would have to do the same thing every day over and over and I'm afraid I would get tired of the repetition.

I think I am going to try and get a bachelor's in nursing.
Then I can try and become a nurse administrator or become a CRNA.
I'm starting to get excited now.
I feel like I actually have a path I can follow now :)
Plus with nursing I can transfer easily to another college compared to dental hygiene where there are not very many programs.